Good night, grumpy me!

On Sunday morning I was standing in the kitchen having breakfast at 6:45 am. This was to be exact the fourth time I was having breakfast at this ungodly hour of the day. I had actually chosen to get up this early out of free will because I was helping my housemate I out with making a short movie (which had to be filmed not only early morning but also with grey and cold weather). Anything for film!

So I was eating my yoghurt with crunchy muesli and all of a sudden I became aware of the fact that I felt completely at home. I was aware of the fact that I was unaware of my surroundings. They were no longer new to me but more like a given; they are just there.
When you first move into a new room/ house you have to get used to everything: where the light switches are, how you have to pull the toilet door before being able to close it, all the sounds you can hear etc.
Gradually you come to know all these things and they sort of move to the background. They become the new scenery for your life. And on this perticular morning I had become aware that my new surroundings had completely blended into my background.

With this new awareness of feeling completely at ease my mood decided that it would be okay for me to deal with a little change. For now that I had settled in all comfy and I should be feeling really happy about it, I was grumpy.
Even though I took it as another sign that I was feeling completely at ease; for I was not holding back and letting whichever feeling comes up take over. It does not change the fact that I do not like being grumpy. Because with me it is always inexplicable. I like to know why I am feeling a certain way. Seeing as how I can not explain the grumpy feeling it makes me more grumpy and i get stuck in this circle of grumpy-ness from which I can usually only escape by having a proper night of sleep.

So I did the only thing I can do when I am grumpy. I locked myself in my room so as not to affect any other people with my mood. If there's one thing I dislike more it is people who take their mood out on other people. And when it was time I went to bed, hoping that I would wake up a happy person.