Soon to be not homeless anymore

A little over two weeks ago I was still living in Amsterdam. Amsterdam very much is my hometown. It's where I was a child and where I became an adult. I know it better than any other city. But still a little over two weeks ago when I was there, I did not have a home.
In fact I did not have a home for almost half a year. Though I was living in a house that used to be my home, it was not.

The last home that I had, was in Manchester. Unlike most friends I had there, I used the word "home" for where I lived at that time. I used it because it felt like that; I had my room there, a room which I had made my own. And most important it contained a bed that slept so good, it felt like home.
Manchester is not too big a city, I came to know it quite well. At least the parts where I had to go. I felt comfortable walking around on my own, confident even and very happy at times when the weather was nice.
For about five months, perhaps a little less because I had to get to know it first, Manchester was my home.

I came back to Amsterdam not having a home, even though I came to live somwhere I used to call home. And it felt good, for a while it did feel like home. But the room that once was mine now contained a lot of stuff that wasn't mine. And my bed was okay, but it did not sleep like home. Most important, I knew it was only going to be temporarily. In a way I did not want it to feel like home, because I was aware of having to leave again.

My last week in Amsterdam was in a new house altogether. I had helped paint it, but it wasn't mine. I felt comfortable there, but it wasn't home, even though it contained things of a place I used to know as home. And even though I knew the neighbourhood quite well, it was not home.

Now that I am in London, I am in a completely new environment; another room, another house, another neighbourhood, another city. I have to get to know everything all over again.
In a way it feels like losing a tiny part of your identity and having to find it and make it part of you again.
I painted this new room (same colour as it was though) because it needed to be painted. And I bought or brought the few things that decorate it. I know how to walk to the store and back, I know how to walk to the university.
Tonight for the first time, I felt a glimpse of home. A glimpse of completely blending in, when every little thing you do becomes a part of your daily routing.When you feel like you're doing everything without thinking, and it feels good. That's when you're at home.